“Mama, we need to talk about sex.”

Startled by her daughter’s decree, Maria swiveled her desk chair around to face her Mini Me.

“Hey honey, that’s not how you greet your mother when you get home from school. What about, ‘Hi, Mom, how was your day?’”

Ashley dropped her backpack and walked over to give her mother a hug.

“Sorry Mama. That Chanel just mad me mad on the bus, so I told her I was going to ask you as soon as I get home.”

“Ask me what, Baby?” Knowing Ashley and her friends, it could be anything.

“Well, you remember when Aunt Lisa was pregnant and I was in the second grade and you told me where babies come from?”

“Yep- I remember.” Maria sat back. This was going to be interesting for sure.

“You told me that sex was for making babies. Well, Chanel told me that her big sister told her that you can have sex just because you feel like it. And you don’t have to married either. That’s what Chanel’s sister said.” With that, Ashley plopped to the floor and crossed her legs. She was settling in for the long haul, and Maria knew it.

Maria had given Ashley the sex talk when she was seven because Maria’s youngest sister was pregnant. There had been lots of baby buzz in the family because Lisa had had difficulties conceiving to begin with. Ashley wanted to know what the big deal was, and being a progressive parent, Maria told her about the physiology of where babies come from. She figured she had plenty of time to talk about the “other stuff” later. Guess not.

“Um, well, yeah. You see. You don’t have to be married to have sex.” Maria felt that maybe if she kept her responses short and to the point, this whole thing would be over soon.

“Why not Mama? You told me that when a husband and wife have sex that is how they make a baby. Chanel’s sister said that you can make a baby and don’t have to be married and that you can have sex because you feel like it and not because you want to make a baby. Why do people feel like having sex if they don’t want to make a baby? And Mama, Chanel said that her sister said that sex feels good! Does sex feel good Mama? It doesn’t sound like it would!

At this point, Maria knew that she was stuck. She slid to the floor and mimicked the position of her child in order to buy time. How was she going to tell her baby that if done right, sex was an awesome experience, and that she would be going back for more every chance she got? She hadn’t even planned on having this conversation with Ashley when she started dating.

“Ash- look. As you got older, I was planning to fill you in on different aspects of sex. Like how it can be a very emotional experience. And how you have to act responsibly and protect yourself. And how sex can be very confusing for a young woman. And…”

“But Mama,” Ashley abruptly interrupts. “Can you have sex when you are not married just because you feel like it, and does it really feel good? I want to tell Chanel that her sister told her a story when we get on the bus tomorrow.”

Shit, shit, shit.

“OK, Ash. Yes, you don’t have to be married to have sex. You can have sex because you feel like it, and yes, sex can feel good.”

Ashley’s face held a look of surprise. She was not happy at all about Chanel being right.

“But that is not the end of the story, Ash. There is A LOT that you need to know before having sex with ANYONE. But you are not ready for all that right now. You are still a kid. You don’t need to be thinking about sex. You will have plenty of time to worry about sex when you are an adult. And don’t forget- everything I told you about where babies come from and how they get there still holds. In a couple of years, you and I will be having many more conversations about sex. In the meantime, no more sex talk with Chanel on the bus. You want to know something- ask me, or Dad. Got that?”

“Yes, Mama.”

Maria stood up, and then pulled Ashley to her feet. She then picked up Ashley’s backpack and handed it to her.

“Here. Go in the kitchen and get a snack, and then get started on your homework. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

“Ok. But Mama, I have one more question about sex.”

“Yeah- what is it Ash?”

“How old do I have to be before I get to have sex?”

Marie looked at her watch. It was going to be a long evening.