Dialing Under the Influence
Last week, The Cooties ran amok in my home. The Girl got it, The Man got it, and then I got it. Monday was fine. Business as usual, but by Tuesday, it was all over but the shouting (more like whining- like a toddler who is tired, but doesn’t want to take a nap, but can’t resist curling up in a blankie and whimpering about how not tired she is until she falls asleep- but I digress). In my antihistamine/decongestant/cough suppressant haze, I thought it would be a good idea to at least TRY to get some work done.
I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing.
Here is a list of what NOT to do when you are sick and taking OTC meds:
- Don’t try to reconcile your datebook/Blackberry/iCalendar. It really is just a great way to screw things up.
- Don’t cancel an interview with someone unless you are sure of WHAT DAY TODAY IS. I cancelled an interview for THURSDAY on TUESDAY because I thought the day I was calling was WEDNESDAY and I just knew I wouldn’t be able to record the interview without sounding like Kermit The Frog. Get someone else to look at your schedule if you are having issues with the whole time/space continuum thingy.
- If you have to make a call, please don’t leave long, incoherent messages on someones vmail, only to follow it up with an email to make sure they got your message. You will just feel like an ass when you realize what you’ve done.
- Don’t write long funny/touching/enlightening posts. You’ll simply end up deleting them by accident. More than once. Just don’t do it.
- Don’t tell your soon-to-be 14 year old that she can fix whatever she wants for dinner as long as she doesn’t burn the house down. The mess that remains will only make you sicker, but you won’t be able to yell at her for a couple of days. Keep cereal and milk in the house and you will be fine. (Besides, you’ll be pissed when you see that she didn’t even eat the mess she created.)
- Don’t try to tackle the mountain of laundry in the hallway on one of your trips from the sofa to the bathroom. You’ll just end up wondering if you remembered to use the basics like- oh, I don’t know- washing powder- before you ran the machine.
Just allow yourself to be sick. That way you won’t end up creating more work for yourself in the long run.
Gotta go make an “I’m sorry I called you while doped up” call.