What’s the connection between that and writing? Nothing.

‘Xept, I finally got my rump off the bench (gratuitous sports reference) and put my work on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. And the Earth did not stop spinning on it’s axis. As a matter of fact, nothing changed.

But I have actually sold copies of my ebooks (and yes, the number exceeds double digits, but has not yet hit triple digits). I’m no Konrath at this point, but there’s plenty of time.

Sidenote-  if you have ever considered e-publishing, you have should definitely check out his blog. He’s not trying to get you to sign up for his tele-class for 900.00 bucks and then giving you a 10 page ebook as supplemental material. He’s just talking about the publishing industry as he sees it and how he’s chosen to manage his writing career on his own. I’ve been reading him for a couple of years now and a lot of what he has predicted has happened. Judge for yourself, and then we can discuss.

But back to me.

Consensual is coming out later this month. It will have you rethinking how well you know someone.

I’m releasing a manifesto on co-parenting. Fun, irreverent, but some kernels of truth about sharing parenting duties with an ex. It’s non-fiction, but I’ve been tossing this idea around for over a year.

And of course you guys will finally get to meet my witch. She is what I would have been like if I had a supernatural gift at the age of 23 and wasn’t married at the time. Um, anyway,  I’m sure you’ll like her, cause I love writing her.

That should get us through 2011. Then it’s on and popping for the big 2012.

You can check me out here:

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Barnes and Noble

Amazon

excerpt from Home Alone

I can’t talk about self-employment and working from home without being honest about the flip side of things. You are taking a leap. The securities that come with working for someone else don’t exist for the self-employed.

There is no more direct deposit.

Sometimes you are going to have to wait, and wait, and wait on a check.

This is going to cause fear, anxiety, and anger. Especially if you’ve been waiting for weeks and the bills are stacking up and you have to keep contacting folks about your money. It’s part of the package, and I can’t think of anything that will make it easy. Apparently there are laws against cutting people.

There is no more company insurance plan. You are going to pay out of pocket and through the nose. Did someone say healthcare reform NOW!?

There are no more 401K matches. Unless you get a birthday gift of cash and put it in your savings account.

There are no more sick or annual leave days. You don’t work, you don’t get paid. It’s the way of the jungle.

There are no more staff members to blame screw ups on. It’s all you buddy. Own it, and then fix it. Your reputation is on the line. No excuses.

You are The Decider. (Seriously, at some point, I must thank George W for this classic line).

You are the Admin Assistant.

You are the Operations Officer.

You are the IT guy.

You are the asshole who didn’t put more paper in the printer.

And you are the one that gets the pat on the back for a job well done.

The trade off for being your own boss is the loss of your safety net. With all of the pitfalls ahead, there will be triumphs, and hopefully, financial rewards for your hard work and dedication.

And yet…

You have a job you are passionate about.

You are living your dream.

You don’t have to fill out a leave slip to take Friday off and head to your third cousin’s wedding early, even though you don’t like that side of the family very much.

Basically, you’ll never want to work for The Man (the one who puts profit before people, not the one I’m committed to) again.

More from Home Alone

There are some perks that go along with being someone’s employee. For some, it’s a large salary, the yearly bonuses, even interesting work that you love. One of my perks was lunch with The Divas.

Our days started with a round of emails, phone calls, or office visits to see what everyone’s schedule looked like and who wanted to be counted in for lunch. Locations would be hammered out and the meeting time would be selected. Then the work day could begin.

As a consultant and writer, although I am in control of my schedule, I am not always in town. This means that I can’t always do lunch.

The first time I couldn’t attend lunch with The Divas, it was no big deal to me.

Until I found out that lunch went on without me. I was aghast and appalled.

OK, I was really pissed off. I mean, come on, I really thought lunch revolved around me.

My first thought was: I can’t believe those heifers had lunch without me. That was quickly replaced by: What the hell did I expect from those heifers?

So I got over it. But I can’t say I wasn’t a little sad and disappointed that I was missing out.

Japanese bistro trumps peanut butter & jelly (PB&J) any day of the week.

Once you fall out of the lunch loop, you will eventually fall out of the office gossip loop.

It will happen faster than you expect. One minute you are sitting and laughing at the same old drama; six months later, there is so much that has happened since you left that you are totally clueless about it all. But this will be a good thing. It means that you have moved on. Deal with it.

After a year of being on your own, lunch with friends will be less about hearing news from your old workplace  and more about spending quality time with good friends.

Sappy, but true.

From my e-book Home Alone

Your office is set up. You are rocking and rolling. It’s all groovy.

Until you start to notice that things are missing.

The space formerly known as your office, has become the family version of Target.

Pens, markers, erasers, and paper will be considered the contraband to have. Even though they have their own.

My daughter steals my pens with such regularity that it’s become a game. I leave crappy ones lying around in hopes that she will take those instead. No dice. They remain on the desk until I move them. But, let me slip up and pull out one of my favorite gel pens, and it’s gone in a matter of seconds. She’s like the wind, that girl.

My family takes my stuff because it is mine! My stuff is just better than theirs.  Maybe it’s because I’m always saying that to them.

Yes. I have a lot in common with three year olds.

But, the lure is in the actual taking. That means that there are things that I simply cannot give away to my child. If I tell her not to touch something, it is as good as gone.

I eat Happy Meals because I like the toys (don’t judge me). I used to manage a therapeutic program for children under the age of six. The Happy Meal toys were a good thing to have. When I moved home to work, I brought all of my office thingys with me,  including my collection of Happy Meal toys. I instructed The Girl not to mess with them. What she heard was “take what you want and clip them all to your backpack for decoration.”

Yes, she raided them all.

During her raid, she missed the little green Teeny Beanie Baby frog that I adore. I knew that once she spotted him, he was a goner, so I casually offered him up one evening in a look-what-I-found kind of way. She gave me the smelly frown and said “no thanks”. Mr. Froggy was saved. He sits on my desk unharmed to this day.

If you love something, offer it to a teenager, and they’ll never touch it.

You wanted professional freedom.

You told Corporate America and The Man (the one that lured you into becoming a drone, not the one you are committed to) to kiss your behind.

You took your Teeny Beanie Baby Frog home, along with all your other office decorations.

Your business plan is done. The licenses have been filed for. Your business cards are on the way.

You are officially self-employed.

And now you are scared shitless.

This is unchartered territory for you. You know how to work for someone else.  Working for your self is a different game all together.

OK, so this is really how things went down for me. I took the leap, hoping that the net would appear.

I thought the transition would be an easy one. Surely working for myself can’t be that hard. I like me. I like my leadership style, and the fair and impartial way that I handle my employees. I am the type of boss I always wanted to have.

I’m a big picture person who left the details to my employees.

But now, I don’t have employees.

Oh, wait. I am my employee.

That was definitely an adjustment period. I had a lot to learn.

And some of those lessons are laid out here for you.

To learn from.

To avoid.

To laugh at.

Whatever.

OK- no drumroll. Just click on the title and get my first e-book.

Just some musings on what it’s like working from home.

Grab it, read it, comment about it. Pass it to a friend.

It’s free, yo’!

And this is only the beginning.

Bwahahahahhaha (that’s my evil scientist laugh- in case you didn’t recognize it.)

Anyway, just read it!

Home Alone: When Your Office Doubles As Your Guest Room

PS- Yes, I know that “guest room” is two words, but I missed it in the edit of the title page.  I’ll fix it.  As soon as I return from vacation. Don’t hate.