I survived a month of columns. I put myself out there and swam. Ok, it was more like a doggie paddle, but I didn’t sink, and that is the important thing.

I’ve been sitting at this computer for hours. I have a platform. But now I am having second thoughts about the whole thing.

I have always wanted a BFF.  Like Oprah and Gail.  Batman and Robin.  Ethel and Lucy.  What I got instead, was Adrienne.  The woman who had decided that it was her mission in life to get me dating, married, and mommied before all of my eggs dried up.
Adrienne was a “by the book” kind of person.  Meet the love of your life while still in high school.  Check.  Attend state university and get that degree in business.  Check.  Get married to high school sweetheart one year after college graduation.  Check.  …

When you do what you do, you get what you get. That is what my mother used to tell me as a kid. Her version of karma, maybe. Lately, I’m starting to see it as something else.

DING!
That’s my cell chiming letting me know I have a text message.  Everyone knows I write until 4.  I’ve got ten minutes to go.  And it’s not like I’m not going to check the damn thing.
Tayler:  can I go 2 the mall with sydnee
Me:   What time? 
Tayler:  idk- brb     gonna txt syd
30 seconds later…
Tayler:  6
Me:  No.  You know that’s dinnertime.  Reschedule for Saturday.  Two days away.  You can wait.
Tayler:  syd has a dance thingy 
Me:  Then I’ll take you guys on Friday afternoon.  I’ve got to get back to work.  TTYL. 
Tayler:  k   …

I started taking things off the walls, and clearing out my desk, and the more I put in my boxes, the more excited I became. Before too long, my secretary Alicia had come to the door to ask what was going on.

“Mama, we need to talk about sex.”
Startled by her daughter’s decree, Maria swiveled her desk chair around to face her Mini Me.
“Hey honey, that’s not how you greet your mother when you get home from school. What about, ‘Hi, Mom, how was your day?’”
Ashley dropped her backpack and walked over to give her mother a hug.
“Sorry Mama. That Chanel just mad me mad on the bus, so I told her I was going to ask you as soon as I get home.”
“Ask me what, Baby?” Knowing Ashley …